Tuesday, November 01, 2005

How (Not) To Be A Success

We have all encountered people who exhibit one or more of these traits. Like me, maybe even you do some of these more often than you like to admit. So, how to be a success? Don't follow this...

How not to succeed

Use a weak and ineffectual handshake
Better yet, don’t shake hands at all
Talk when other people are talking
Be rude, impolite, and inconsiderate
Use a lot of swear words when you talk
Tell vulgar stories and jokes
Blame other people when things don’t go your way
Whine
Complain
Find fault in others and point them out to other people
Don’t identify yourself when making telephone calls
Remember, always tell – never ask
Talk about yourself exclusively
Keep in mind that no one you are listening to knows more than you
Mumble
Frown, scowl when possible
Make sure you have an excuse ready for any occasion
Don’t look people in the eye
Gossip
Avoid the truth
Procrastinate
Strive to be unfair
Ignore other people’s input
Criticize other people, because it makes you look better

Then…
Blame your lack of success on bad luck.

Suitable for framing, isn't it?

3 Comments:

At 2:32 PM, Blogger otilius said...

FLIPPING ZONK CRONGLE! Bang wheezer? Meep dee floo! Fluppity rizzlezongle.

 
At 7:14 PM, Blogger A1 Success Force said...

Fraggle zang shnizzle bam woogle zingle dang da gobble. Blob da blip dee kanoodle-wooble!! Da duh slap flup tingity crungely dilznoofus zingleabracadabra? Bluppity jingle funk! ABRACADABRA BAM FLIB-RAZZLE. Hum OODLE sbwisdom...tangity blipping woobleBLIP.

 
At 11:10 PM, Anonymous melly said...

Er... I'm not sure how to follow these two comments, but I did like your suggestions :)

 

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